Life Happens, Death Interrupts

Ben Payne

Today, my last dad, Ben Payne, is being buried. He died on March 9th, 2015 in Ottumwa, Iowa. For over ten years I had three dad’s at the same time, my birth father, Tommie Walker, the man I grew up with, Daddy, my mother’s husband, Willie Alexander, and Dad, the father of my husband, Brian.

Dad was the only one I saw age even though my father lived to be 92. I did not see or talk with my dad or Daddy as often as I did Dad over the last twenty years.

I’ll always remember Dad’s easy company and dry mid-west sense of humor he continued to share in our last phone conversations when he could barely hear. One day, many years ago, Dad told me he was living on borrowed time. That loan was generous. He celebrated his 83rd birthday last August.

You never know how much a person means to you until the dark curtain of the ultimate wonder gently ends their act. I do miss him.


22 Comments on “Life Happens, Death Interrupts”

  1. A wonderful tribute. It is great to have multiple parents. I had several adopted mothers and fathers during high school and college. The parents of several of my good friends. They adopted me and all their children’s friends as if we were there own. I think if more people did this today, society would be better for it. I’m sorry for your loss. We lost my mom 5 years ago. It sounds like “Dad” was a good man to know and created many great memories.

  2. My condolences. I know what it feels like – I lost my 2 dads within a year of each other a few years ago (my mother’s father and my birth dad). Blessings.

  3. Dear Skywalker, I send you loving thoughts and hugs. This is such a beautiful tribute to the Dad who kept in touch over the years. Please know you are in my heart and thoughts, dear friend.

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