Loss Can Lead to Happiness


Loss opens vistas/Attachment limits new movement/Freedom is empty

The word loss sends shivers down our spines. We are you afraid of losing our jobs, our spouse, our health, our good looks, our memory, our home, our children. And most of us harbor the unspoken fear of the ultimate loss – death?

How can loss lead to happiness?

Recognize when fear of loss controls our lives.

How many of us move through life motivated by Fear?

We enter unsatisfying relationships because we fear being alone.

We go to college because we fear disappointing our parents.

We take jobs we hate because we fear going into debt.

We wear the latest fashions because we fear being ridiculed.

At the base of all of these fears is one overriding fear, the fear of loss.

We fear the loss of a relationship.

We fear the loss of our parent’s approval.

We fear the loss of financial comfort.

We fear the loss of social approval.

We fear loss because of attachment.

We are attached to our things.

We are attached to status.

We are attached to social norms.

We are attached to satisfying others’ expectations.

We grow up being taught that these values of attachment are important. Seldom are we encouraged to take a critical look or to consider what is really of value in life. Maybe, if we go to a church, or temple, or mosque, we may learn that material accumulation and fitting into society are not the goals of life. We may learn that values such as compassion, kindness, generosity, courage, and even sacrifice, should be the guiding values for living a life of meaning and purpose.

Eventually, life will hit each of us with unwanted experiences. We can struggle against them, curse them, or we can learn to let go.

We can die before we die.

So we lose the job, or the spouse, or the car, or our house. When we can die, release our attachment to that which we have lost, without anger, self-pity or recriminations, we can discover a new freedom. The freedom of equanimity.

Equanimity – evenness of temper under stress (Encarta World English Dictionary, 1999)

With equanimity we take a deep breath, calm our rising emotions, and step back to take a full, objective look at our situation. We find the more we can relax, the more we can release attachment to our emotions and negative outlook, the more we use the power of equanimity we are able to take a new look at life.

We acknowledge we didn’t like that job anyway and begin to visualize, articulate, to find fulfilling work.

We admit we knew the relationship was wrong and patiently seek the person who gives our life meaning.

When we approach life with equanimity, we begin to take time to see life anew, with eyes of wonder. We take time to bathe in the symphonic silence of a breathtaking sunset. We marvel at a rare, huge golden moon. We melt in the loving gaze of a child. We are grateful for being alive in this very moment now we know how our loss leads to happiness.

Visit SACRED to receive a gift of wonder.


14 Comments on “Loss Can Lead to Happiness”

    • Thanks so much. This is the beginning of weekly longer blogs. Hope you clicked on the links and have checked out my new venture and sign up to be on my e-mail list. I really would appreciate your contribution.

  1. Reblogged this on Deconstructing Myths and commented:
    Skywalker’s is a gifted storyteller, poet and artist whose insights on fear and loss speak to me on so many levels. Letting go of the need to seek validation from my captors has been a lifelong struggle for me. I encourage readers to visit the link to SACRED and participate in the community that Skywalker is building. Peace and solidarity to all readers.

  2. This post is wise and profound. Loss is what led me to pick up my pen once again, after decades. When you face your mortality, you realize you really do only have one life to live, so best live it being true to yourself.

  3. So profound & timely! This speaks to my current journey. Simple wisdom that I know in my head, yet tend to forget when caught in the currents of fear and emotion. Thanks for your clarity & insight!

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