First Snowfall – Which Poem is Better?

Snow Tree

Unspoken promise

Large snow flakes descend to earth

White contemplation

Snowfall

Silent as an unspoken promise

Snow whitens our world

a contemplation cloak

announcing winter’s approach

28 Comments on “First Snowfall – Which Poem is Better?

  1. If I had to pick, I would choose the second. I liked the alliteration and imagery of the second poem. Both verses evoke a sense of stillness and meditation. Now, you’ve made me miss the first snowfall!

  2. The second has a serene depth, while the first says as much in the few words of the haiku. To my western mind, the second is more prosaic.

  3. Both are lovely. However, I have been devoted to the discipline, and challenge of less is more in Haiku for a lifetime. So, I am going with the first one. Basho would be proud!

  4. I honestly like them both. The first for its simplicity and the promise of contemplation – a lovely way to view the winter that I suspect is cold and long and dark in Alaska. I like the second for the peacefulness it conveys.

  5. Thanks, Carol. Even though I like the first one best (I think I’m just a haiku addict), your observation is why I included the second one, which was actually the first spontaneous writing.

  6. They’re both good; the reader may have to work a bit harder to grasp the second one, but that’s a good thing.

  7. I like the second, but it’s reminded me of the long, cold Northern winter I have to face in Canada’s capital. Brrr!!!

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