First Snowfall – Which Poem is Better?
Unspoken promise
Large snow flakes descend to earth
White contemplation
Silent as an unspoken promise
Snow whitens our world
a contemplation cloak
announcing winter’s approach
Unspoken promise
Large snow flakes descend to earth
White contemplation
Silent as an unspoken promise
Snow whitens our world
a contemplation cloak
announcing winter’s approach
Skywalker Storyteller Works 
The second one’s better…
Thanks.
If I had to pick, I would choose the second. I liked the alliteration and imagery of the second poem. Both verses evoke a sense of stillness and meditation. Now, you’ve made me miss the first snowfall!
Thanks, Jeff.
Yes. I agree with the first comment. And here I am complaining about our cold and rainy day…
Well, I’m in Alaska, so Nov. 1st is a good day for the first snowfall.
Second for me also. Lovely.
Well, it’s becoming unanimous. Thanks.
The second has a serene depth, while the first says as much in the few words of the haiku. To my western mind, the second is more prosaic.
Thanks, although your comment still leaves me wondering which one you like best.
Both are lovely. However, I have been devoted to the discipline, and challenge of less is more in Haiku for a lifetime. So, I am going with the first one. Basho would be proud!
Thank you! It’s my favorite too.
I honestly like them both. The first for its simplicity and the promise of contemplation – a lovely way to view the winter that I suspect is cold and long and dark in Alaska. I like the second for the peacefulness it conveys.
Thanks, Carol. Even though I like the first one best (I think I’m just a haiku addict), your observation is why I included the second one, which was actually the first spontaneous writing.
That’s funny – I liked the first one best but then I am great fan of haiku
Thanks, Suzanne – it’s becoming a tie. And you know I’m a haiku fan.
I like them both, but the second one is my favorite.
Thanks, Nicci.
Beautiful haiku – as always. Are you getting snow where you are? We’re just getting a lot of wind and and cold here.
Thanks. Yes, those are picture from windows of my apartment. Good to hear from you.
The second one.
Thanks.
I’m partial to the first one myself…
Thanks. Me too.
They’re both good; the reader may have to work a bit harder to grasp the second one, but that’s a good thing.
Thanks, Murray. Always good to hear from you.
I like the second, but it’s reminded me of the long, cold Northern winter I have to face in Canada’s capital. Brrr!!!
The first, for me. I’m also partial to the subtlety and left-unspokenness of haiku 🙂